i could never express enough how bad i feel right now! for the past few days all i have been thinking about is my weight. i may seem like an over obsessive freak, but my weight concerns me. i look in the mirror sometimes and wish to be somebody else in life. I wish to be skinnier than i already am. people say im not fat, but also, i see n their eyes the way they look at me, is just painful. its like they know i have a weight issue. they just dont know how to tell me. i weight 120 pounds, and that seems average, it just my stomache is big...i have a gut...a big one, and i get jealous of how other people have no gut, and i wish for a no huge gut....and i hate wearing tight shirts because my love handles show, and it really disgusts me. i cant take it. i feel i have a weight issue and i dont know how to fix it.
other than all the weight issues, theres been A LOT of drama again. ha, i guess this is just a reason why this world is a circle.....drama is meant for the earth and its never ending. I guess i am a very outgoing person, i tell it how it is to my friends when they ask me if i have a problem, or i have a problem with what they're doing, yes i express myself very much to them because i cant live life with being upset with them and act like nothing has happened. i need to tell them i am upset. and if they dont care, than they arent my friend. i have this one friend, or now shes not my friend.....[god i feel like im in junior high again..drama drama drama] but newayz shes not my friend because i told her i dont like her boyfriend, and he isnt the best for her and than i wanted her to call me but she ditches me forhim and it hurts because i actually wanted her as my friend, but its tough to have friends like that because they're never there...literally...never there. i choose a few friends close friends and just have hangout friends, but i never tell them my secrets...i guess its pretty sad how life flows like that, but then again, it may be whats best for everything...ya know...lol
well, time to hit the sheets....later.